You Belong

Research consistently demonstrates that a strong sense of belonging within a team, culture, or organization leads to increased performance, engagement, and well-being. However, the pandemic challenged our global sense of belonging as we've transitioned from in-person interactions to more virtual connections. With the cultural experience becoming more diffuse and subjective, how can we collectively cultivate a deeper sense of belonging in this increasingly digital age?

This year marks the 81st anniversary of Abraham Maslow's groundbreaking "Theory of Human Motivation," published in Psychological Review. The article revolutionized psychology and fields as diverse as education, social work, and management by introducing a radical new framework for understanding human needs and aspirations.

The 1943 article was also groundbreaking for its implicit yet profound emphasis on belonging. A concept largely overlooked in psychology until then, Maslow placed “belongingness” — the human need for interpersonal connection and acceptance — centrally within his hierarchy, just above the fundamental requirements for food, shelter, and safety. At a time when psychology was predominantly focused on the mechanics of the mind and the pathology of mental illness, this was a revolutionary perspective.

Maslow’s insight was also remarkably prophetic. In our increasingly isolated world, marked by loneliness, alienation, and polarization, the significance of belonging has never been more apparent. It's now understood as essential not only for emotional well-being but also for physical health, social cohesion, and economic prosperity. Belonging has become a cornerstone of psychological research, while diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging (DEIB) initiatives have transformed into a multibillion-dollar industry.

Looking back at the article 81 years later, it’s clear that Maslow opened an essential conversation. Yet there’s also a case to be made that he didn’t take belonging seriously enough.

Over time, we can understand the meaning of belonging as something broader than how Maslow conceived it.

Belonging encompasses more than interpersonal connection. It's a multifaceted experience rooted in community, place, power, and purpose. To truly belong is to feel connected to others, grounded in a specific location, empowered to shape shared outcomes, and aligned with a collective mission.

Belonging, in this expanded sense, transcends Maslow's notion of a mere human need; it's an inherent right. In fact, it's the foundational principle from which all other needs emerge. Our drive for food, shelter, and safety, the fundamental building blocks of survival, is ultimately fueled by a deeper yearning: to connect with humanity, nature, and a larger purpose.

Given his research focus on Western industrialized societies, Maslow's conception of belonging was necessarily limited by the historical and cultural context. Subsequent critiques have highlighted his emphasis on individual growth at the potential expense of communal needs.

In stark contrast, Indigenous cultures worldwide have long held expansive views of belonging. For instance, the Nuu-chah-nulth people of the Pacific Northwest embody the concept of Tsawalk, meaning "one," which encapsulates the interconnectedness of humanity and nature. Within these traditions, belonging isn't merely a privilege but an inherent birthright.

Albert Marshall, a Moose Clan Elder from the Mi’kmaq Nation in Canada, has shared his people's remarkable story of survival spanning over 18 millennia in harmony with the natural world. He attributes this enduring resilience to a fundamental principle: collective action. As Marshall poetically describes, "If you look under the trees, you'll see all these roots holding hands, supporting each other." This imagery encapsulates the Mi’kmaq belief in interconnectedness and mutual aid as the bedrock of a thriving community.

The concept of belonging as a fundamental human right is deeply embedded within Western thought as well. Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, asserted that social connection is indispensable to human flourishing. Similarly, the medieval legend of Parzival underscores the transformative power of compassion when prioritized over personal ambition. The hero's journey to heal a desolate land exemplifies the idea that true fulfillment comes from serving a greater good and fostering connection.

To understand the meaning of belonging and how we cultivate it in the modern world, we also need to understand its antithesis—isolation.

Nelson Mandela, the former South African president who endured nearly three decades of imprisonment, including prolonged solitary confinement, quietly observed the world's growing recognition of belonging as a fundamental human right. The following is from an interview on his perspective on isolation and belonging:

“Of course, you would know all about isolation.”

He paused to think, then answered solemnly, “No, I have never been isolated.”

“Not even on Robben Island?” Referring to the notorious prison camp on a rock in the Indian Ocean, where he was interned for more than a decade.

“No,” he replied.

“On Robben Island, we were all brothers working together with a common purpose. I was never alone.” He continued, “I have seen isolation. I have seen it in the child with AIDS whom no one in the village will love or care for or touch or feed or shelter. I have seen isolation—and it is very bad.”

Isolated in the harshest conditions imaginable, Mandela maintained an unwavering connection to his community through shared purpose. With his fellow freedom fighters, he transformed personal suffering into collective strength, viewing their individual struggles as reflections of their people's broader plight. Together, they forged an indomitable sense of solidarity and belonging that endured the rigors of imprisonment. 

Mandela remained deeply rooted in his cultural traditions, drawing strength from his homeland and the ancestral wisdom imparted to him. These foundations sustained him through imprisonment, enabling him to emerge unbroken and spiritually replenished. His reflections on the plight of a child with HIV revealed that isolation and belonging are complex issues intertwined with broader societal structures, extending far beyond individual psychology. 

While Maslow framed belonging primarily in terms of personal relationships, Mandela's experiences illuminated the broader, more complex nature of isolation and belonging. His journey revealed that belonging is a fundamental human principle, encompassing far more than friendship, intimacy, or family.

Eighty years since Maslow placed belonging at the heart of human motivation, its significance has only grown. While undeniably a fundamental human need, belonging is also a birthright, a defining characteristic for us. This profound insight, a cornerstone of our humanity, offers a powerful lens through which to address the complex challenges facing individuals, communities, and the world.

Curiosity is wonder in action, propelling us to question the status quo and seek knowledge. It invites us to embrace new experiences, explore diverse perspectives, and deepen our connections with others. Best of all, curiosity is an innate human quality that simply needs awakening. 

Our brains are hardwired for survival, instinctively categorizing people as friends or foes. While this instinct helps protect us, it can also hinder connection. By embracing wonder and curiosity, we can overcome these biases and build more fulfilling relationships.

Here are a few ways to ignite your curiosity and deepen connections:

Embrace Unexpected Encounters: Turn ordinary moments into opportunities for connection. Strike up conversations with strangers—whether in a hallway, grocery store, or the classroom — and let curiosity be your guide.

Ask with Wonder: Approach interactions with genuine curiosity. Whether connecting with a new acquaintance or a longtime friend, let wonder fuel your questions. Inquire about their most awe-inspiring experiences or dream careers.

Share Your Passions: Identify what truly excites and inspires you. Explore opportunities to connect with others who share your passions. Join clubs, volunteer, or travel to share experiences that ignite wonder.

By cultivating curiosity, you can build deeper, more authentic connections, enhance your well-being, and enrich your life. Find value in your daily interactions.

You belong.

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Cultivating Rest