Triggering Gratefulness
A personal account.
While there may be disagreement whether the COVID pandemic is actually over, the effects of our nationwide shut-downs still linger. Young people have been the hardest hit with mental health issues. Anxiety and depression have an uptick of higher rates than they were pre-2020.
Adults also have not been immune to the isolation and impact of the pandemic. Jobs were changed or even lost. We labeled a group of workers as “essential” and expected their continued services despite the dangers as well as long hours. We blamed, took sides, and made the virus political. All of it added up to pure exhaustion for everyone.
I am one of those “everyones.” The five letters that spell COVID conjure feelings of loneliness, empathy, rage, fear, perspective, and uncertainty. More specifically, I grew worn of the dismal news, weary of the changing politics, fatigued with staying in my home, and tired of myself.
I was exhausted.
Eventually, mitigation strategies and restrictions started to wane. I got together with family members and went to the grocery store in-person rather than relying on Instacart. I went to my workplace, and I ordered take-out.
Unfortunately, my attitude as well as the anxiety did not change despite the newfound freedoms.
I was officially in a funk.
I am irritated that I allowed this funk to continue for two years. I was an unhappy and unbearable person, and when I saw my reflection in the mirror at home, I thought to myself, “Why doesn’t he just move out?” It got to the point where smiling at all was a chore, and staying in bed seemed like the right thing to do.
In March of 2022, about 700 days into the COVID crisis, I decided to abandon this miserable feeling once and for all. I needed to escape my house, my work, my surroundings, myself. I started to research escapes online and made an appointment to get a passport. While I understand that “changing my location” might not address overall mental health, I decided that I would give it a shot. I had no previous concerns with depression or anxiety.
In the summer of 2022, I headed to Colombia, South America to experience a new culture and a different way of life. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was hoping to gain, but somehow I imagined that being “somewhere else” would jump-start my feelings of normalcy and adequacy.
I visited Medellin, Bogota, and Cartagena - in that order. What I came away with was a feeling of calm in an otherwise-developing country of sheer beauty and chaos.
When I landed in Colombia, I didn’t hear a syllable of English. My American dollars needed to be exchanged for Colombian pesos. I had to complete a Check MIG form and show proof that I had been inoculated against COVID. I was in a land where nothing was normal and where I didn’t know a single soul. It was a feeling that I had not felt before, but something about that feeling was purely invigorating. I would have to function on my wits - and I could forget about the solitude and desperation that I associated with being at home.
Two hours into Medellin, I mustered enough courage to walk around the Poblado neighborhood. This was long considered “safe” by Colombian standards. I thought this would be a good start to the month-long journey I had planned. The streets were electric with street vendors, homelessness, beggars, businessmen and women shuffling to and from restaurants, jaywalkers, cars ignoring pedestrians, and shoeless little kids who were on summer recess. I could smell arepas and empanadas sizzling on open griddles, and storefronts featured anything from cerveza to formula para bebe. It was a foreign whirlwind of the senses which only increased with each step - and each day.
As much as I enjoyed the scenery of the Andes and the weather of Medellin, the poverty was overwhelming. Young parents huddled under trees with their kids as the rains poured down. Elderly men held signs, looking for any work available. Shirtless kids hung out at stoplights, hoping to clean a windshield or two for a silver coin. Men and women danced to booming Reggaeton, hoping to get a passerby to open his wallet. I was offered little candies, massages, illicit substances, and bootlegged or stolen merchandise. Curious people assumed I was North American and asked me questions about Estados Unidos, none of which I understood.
I managed.
I focused on the language, the beauty of the people, the simplicity of life. I bought mangoes and shared them with people on the street. I gave bottles of water to kids that were brown with caked-in dirt from the barrios. I sat in majestic Catholic churches, overcome by their beauty and the solace of the visiting parishioners. Colombianos and Colombianas offered to teach me about the history and government and welcomed my ill-constructed Spanglish questions with smiles, if not a touch of confusion.
My courage and stamina increased as I ventured to the capital city of Bogota. I hailed a taxi. I visited the governmental complex. I tried fruit that was big and green and bumpy and unpronounceable. I roamed around a university campus and watched ten-year-olds play soccer on urban playgrounds. I randomly met Claudia Lopez Hernandez, the honorable mayor of the city, as I strolled through the La Candelaria neighborhood. I listened to locals talk about their country’s elections - and watched them as they haggled with vendedores trying to sell them phone cards and warm corn drinks.
By the time I reached Cartagena - which sits on the Caribbean Sea - I had abandoned any fear that I had brought with me to Colombia. I sat with people on the street or at the beach. I didn’t care if I couldn’t speak Spanish perfectly; I took pleasure in the challenge. I bought Peruvian gooseberries and ate them out of the crate. I stood outside in the warm, drenching rain that came every afternoon. I visited T-shirt stands and snapped photos with people I met. I started to feel like my old self again, despite being 2300 miles away from American suburbia.
After a month, I was back in the United States, energized, positive, and grateful. Truth be told, I had already forgotten why I was “down in the dumps” to begin with . . . was it really COVID? Was it that I started taking everything for granted? Was it that I had stopped appreciating the promise of each day?
Five months later . . . I still wake up each morning with a sense of purpose. I have shed the skin of apathy completely and have a renewed sense of peace - and of happiness. Much of this has to do with taking a risk - and getting away from the once-comfort zone that had become both suffocating and stifling.
The people that I met during my first out-of-the-country excursion seemed both appreciative and hopeful. In some way, that sense of hope seemed innate in our Colombian brethren . . . . like it was always there, no matter the circumstance.
I learned some lessons during that month, there’s no doubt; and I’m looking forward to building upon them:
Foster a culture of appreciation.
A study from the American Psychological Association reflected that of the 1,700 employees within the survey, it was noted that over half of all employees intended to search for a new job because they had felt underappreciated and undervalued. Researchers that focus on gratitude and appreciation readily show that employees who are thankful and appreciative are more engaged in productive work as well as out-of-work relationships, higher job satisfaction, work toward the company’s goals, and are willing to pursue their best in each day.
Navigate with emotional agility and gratitude.
Since the early days of the outbreak and understandably, we’ve all been feeling the weight and burden of various stressors. People have started to experience more heightened emotions alongside anxiety about the uncertainty of what comes next. Likened to running a race without a finish line or completing a puzzle with a reference picture, many have lost some level of stability. Anything that seems unclear has potential to indicate the worst possible.
“Gratitude is an emotion that grounds us and is a great way to balance out the negative mindset that uncertainty engenders,” said Dr. Guy Winch, author of the book Emotional First Aid. When we express gratitude, our brain releases dopamine and serotonin — two hormones that make us feel lighter and happier inside. If we want to take care of our minds during this pandemic, understanding how to trigger this feeling is an important tool to have at our disposal. There is much evidence that points to how gratitude can be a key factor in helping teams and individuals persevere amid challenging tasks.
Practice daily.
Think of your mind like a digestive system that critically impacts how you feel. When your mind becomes flooded with a deluge of worry, resentment, self-criticism, compounded by negative news media notifications, this all can aversively impact your overall wellbeing. A regular gratitude practice can be like a workout and healthy diet that nourishes your mind. In his reflection Why Gratitude is Good, Dr. Emmons shares, “You can’t feel envious and grateful at the same time. They’re incompatible feelings, because if you’re grateful, you can’t resent someone for owning things you don’t.” He goes on to share that his research found that people with high levels of gratitude have low levels of resentment and envy. When we take time to focus on what we are grateful for, we choose positive emotions over negative, thus we take steps to nurture our emotional health and wellbeing.
When you find yourself stuck in a constant state of worry, or hyper focused on what is not working around you, try to pause for a second and ask yourself one or two of the following questions:
What have I gotten to learn recently that has helped me grow?
What opportunities do I currently have that I am grateful for?
What physical abilities do I have but take for granted?
What did I see today or over the last month that was beautiful?
Who at school/work am I happy to see each day and why?
Who is a person that I don’t speak to often, but, if I lost them tomorrow, it would be devastating? (Take this as a cue to reach out today!)
What am I better at today than I was a year ago?
What material object do I use every day that I am thankful for having?
What has someone done for me recently that I am grateful for?
What are the three things I am grateful for right now?
Learn to trigger gratitude and appreciation as we continue to run a race without a finish line. There is no one solution, but we are invited to create practices and moves that can support greater wellbeing. Pause and reflect daily. Invite others to share with you in this season. School and work life satisfaction, greater engagement and performance, less exhaustion, and lower absenteeism all await your embrace. Intentionally shift your focus and take time to nurture your mind.
- Jeff Farson, Dean of Students
